Maybe the number one question any publicly open addict gets asked is, "am I an addict?"
It's a hard question to answer. Truth is, nobody but the addict him or herself knows the severity of their own situation. Asking an admitted addict if you have a substance abuse problem is often the first sign that you may be at risk for developing a full blown addiction, so please keep that in mind. I think it's safest to discuss, first, the different types of users that exist out there and what the warning signs are that you may be losing control.
This episode will focus on the using patterns, the types of users, the warning signs and the questions only you can ask yourself to determine the answer to the question...Am I An Addict?
Helpful hints:
(normal: adj. 1. A person who can casually drink or use drugs and is able to stop without the cravings or desire to "do more".
2. Individuals who may partake in the occasional drink or drug but will not seek out or make excuses to use or drink that fall outside socially acceptable norms.
3. Someone who can and often will only have 'just one' and is happy and capable to do just that, without a second thought.)
Most normal users never ask themselves if they have a using problem. It never crosses their minds. Just because you may think, from time to time, that you use too much, doesn't automatically make you an addict. However, it may be the first indication that things are getting out of control. If you've ever found yourself and the bottom of a bottle when your plan was to have one drink, or you've made terrible, possibly dangerous, decisions just to get a drink or a drug, you may be closer than you think, to a problem taking over.
Some clear signs of a problem are easy to identify. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
Have you been charged with DUI? Arrested for possession? Used until you blacked out? Woken up in the morning and didn't know how you got there or what you did the night before? Lost friends over your using? Referred to yourself 'jokingly' as an alcoholic or addict? Been to a 12 step meeting just to see for yourself and decided you weren't so bad? These are just a few telltale signs that maybe, possibly, you are already there and deciding to stop NOW could prevent a serious struggle in your very near future.
Obviously this simple Q&A is just a very simple version of a much longer list of questions only you can answer. It is not based in any medical or psychological facts. It is a quick and easy way to identify the first signs of a potential problem. Use your own judgement. Talk to an open and out alcoholic or addict and get some advice. Attend a meeting and see if you hear anything that you identify with. Talk to a doctor.
Only you can truly make the diagnosis of addiction. Only you know the truth about yourself and your using. Don't let anyone else tell you what you are. Although, if those who love and care about you are concerned and pleading with you to stop, you may be facing what every addict faces at one point or another...denial.
We hope you enjoy Episode 3 of the Sober Happy Hour | Radio Podcast! and that you find the courage you may need to face this problem with hope, love and optimism.
Strength and Happiness,
-SHHRP Cast.
Show Notes:
Am I An Addict?
You may have a drinking/using problem if you...- Feel guilty or ashamed about your using.
- Lie to others or hide your using habits.
- Have friends or family members who are worried about your using.
- Need to use in order to relax or feel better.
- “Black out” or forget what you did while you were using.
- Regularly use more than you intended to.
Withdrawal is a very serious issue. It is THE telltale sign you have a full blown addiction to something…and will be the number one reason you stay away from recovery. Withdrawal can be managed, you will need help.
Myths about addiction and substance abuse
I can stop using anytime I want to.Maybe you can; more likely, you can’t. Either way, it’s just an excuse to keep using.
My using is my problem. I’m the one it hurts, so no one has the right to tell me to stop.
It’s true that the decision to quit drinking is up to you. However, addiction affects everyone around you—especially the people closest to you. Your problem is their problem.
I don’t use every day, so I can’t be an addict OR I only drink wine or beer, so I can’t be an alcoholic.
Alcoholism is NOT defined by what you drink, when you drink it, or even how much you drink. It’s the EFFECTS of your using that define a problem. If your using is causing problems in your home or work life, you have a problem—whether you drink daily or only on the weekends, down shots of tequila or stick to wine, drink three bottles of beers a day or three bottles of whiskey, snort coke, but don’t smoke crack, eat pills but don’t mainline heroin, it doesn’t matter. What you do matters not, it’s what doing it does to you and the world around you that matters.
I’m not an addict because I have a job and I’m doing okay.
Over time, the effects will catch up with you.
Drinking is not a “real” addiction like drug abuse.
Alcohol is a drug, and alcoholism is every bit as damaging as drug addiction. Alcohol addiction causes changes in the body and brain, and long-term alcohol abuse can have devastating effects on your health, your career, and your relationships. Alcoholics go through physical withdrawal when they stop drinking, just like drug users do when they quit.
Other signs and symptoms of addiction:
- You’ve lost control over your using. You often drink/use more than you wanted to, for longer than you intended, or despite telling yourself you wouldn’t.
- You want to quit, but you can’t. You have a persistent desire to cut down or stop your use, but your efforts to quit have been unsuccessful.
- You have given up other activities because of using. You’re spending less time on activities that used to be important to you (hanging out with family and friends, going to the gym, pursuing hobbies) because of your drug/alcohol use.
- Alcohol takes up a great deal of your day. You spend a lot of time using, thinking about using, or recovering from its effects. You have few if any interests or social involvements that don’t revolve around using.
- You use even though you know it’s causing problems. For example, you recognize that your using is damaging your marriage, making your depression worse, or causing health problems, but you continue to use anyway.
If you have a substance abuse problem, you may deny it by:
- Drastically underestimating how much you use
- Downplaying the negative consequences of your using
- Complaining that family and friends are exaggerating the problem
- Blaming your drug/alcohol use or substance-related problems on others
What about the non-addict, those who put up with us?
First off, God bless them. They are the strong ones.
Parents/Spouses/Family/Friends What Not To Do
- Don't attempt to punish, threaten, bribe, or preach.
- Don't try to be a martyr. Avoid emotional appeals that may only increase feelings of guilt and the compulsion to drink or use other drugs.
- Don't cover up or make excuses for the alcoholic or problem drinker or shield them from the realistic consequences of their behavior.
- Don't take over their responsibilities, leaving them with no sense of importance or dignity.
- Don't hide or dump bottles, throw out drugs, or shelter them from situations where alcohol is present.
- Don't argue with the person when they are impaired.
- Don't try to drink along with the problem drinker.
- Above all, don't feel guilty or responsible for another's behavior.
When your teen has a drinking/drug problem
Discovering your child is using regularly can generate fear, confusion, and anger in us parents. It’s important to remain calm when confronting your child, and only do so when everyone is sober (or at least sober enough to be present). Explain your concerns and make it clear that your concern comes from a place of love. It’s important that your teen feels you are supportive, that you are not criticizing them or making them feel small. NEVER insinuate that this is a matter of willpower or that it is simply a matter or decision quality. We are well beyond having made the initial decision to START using.Five steps parents can take:
- Lay down rules and consequences: Your teen should understand that drinking alcohol comes with specific consequences. But don’t make hollow threats or set rules that you cannot enforce. Make sure your spouse agrees with the rules and is prepared to enforce them.
- Monitor your teen’s activity: Know where your teen goes and who he or she hangs out with. Remove or lock away alcohol from your home and routinely check potential hiding places for drugs/alcohol—in backpacks, under the bed, between clothes in a drawer, for example. Explain to your teen that this lack of privacy is a consequence of him or her having been caught using.
- Encourage other interests and social activities. Expose your teen to healthy activities, such as team sports, approved friends, and afterschool clubs.
- Talk to your child about underlying issues. Drinking/using can be the result of other problems. Is your child having trouble fitting in? Has there been a recent major change, like a move or divorce, which is causing stress?
- Get outside help: You don’t have to go it alone. Teenagers often rebel against their parents but if they hear the same information from a different authority figure, they may be more inclined to listen. Try seeking help from a sports coach, family doctor, therapist, or counselor.
Links:
Great resource for understanding addiction/alcoholism for both the addict and the non-addict dealing with someone with the problem.
http://www.helpguide.org
Alcoholism/Addiction self test
https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcohol/alcohol-abuse-self-test
AA’s 12 questions only you can answer in PDF format.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-3_isaaforyou.pdf
